I’m Scared

I’m scared I won’t know how to love.

Not only you

But me too.

I’m scared that I might fall off my throne

Into a vat of feelings that invalidate my own existence.

It doesn’t make any sense and I wish I could twist it

To a story that isn’t so pathetic to read.

A light that wants to shine but hides every time

Someone of importance wants to come around.

It’s supposed to be simple

I guess I have found that I’ve never had the fairytale of my dreams.

Love doesn’t come easy.

Yet I feel and I feel so deeply it hurts

My heart, it yearns

To be held in your hands.

And I’m scared.

If I give a piece of my soul, what’s the probability I’ll get it back?

Fully intact?

And I won’t just be a footnote on a page in your past?

Forgive me for projecting, I’m just mad at the fact that I can’t love you

If I don’t love myself back.

But I love you so much.

This creation from my dreams

Filled with all the light and dark that I need

To see who I am

To see what I am

To journey with what I’m going to be.

I’m processing a lot

Of information that I fear.

You don’t have to stick around, just so we’re clear

You can leave at any time and save yourself the trouble

Of dealing with someone who gets stuck in their bubble

A world of imagination, of fairytales never come true.

But I believe that the universe sent me to you

To teach me control in all the things I wanna do.

So it’s okay to be scared.

I’m figuring out how to love

Not only you but

Myself, for once.

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