Light from a LAMP

I don’t know why I’m so afraid to be seen. Sometimes it feels like I’m not in the right spot to be perceived.

It’s my 25th birthday and we are in the middle of extreme planetary shifts. So of course, I’m going to feel some type of way about it. I feel like there’s all this knowledge trapped in my head that I don’t know what to do with. So I wrote it here and as long as this cyberspace still exists, it will be here. Or who knows? This may just wind up in the ether…

I keep saying this, not to any one specific person, but it’s a weird feeling to know something when it seems like everyone else around you is oblivious to it. When something comes to me, whether it be a physical item or a sense of emotion, I feel every part of it. It knocks me around like dust caught in a vent. I don’t know or understand every part of the universe, but it’s one of those things when you finally see it, you can’t unsee it. When you finally understand it, there’s no turning back. It’s a constant battle between keeping my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds.

We are just teeny tiny specs of existence in the grand scheme of the universe, but we don’t fully understand how grand it is. Every part of life is a extraordinary thing. I say extraordinary, but I don’t mean that everything is perfect. It’s not. We know that. I know that and it brings me pain. There’s a lot of theories out there about the meaning of life or why we are here, what it is all for. One of my favorites is the Egg Theory.

To sum it up, the Egg Theory suggests that every living thing on this planet is the universe experiencing itself in different forms and in different times. So you reading this now are the same energy as a person reading a newspaper in the 1950s or yes, even a dinosaur. I feel like this theory is meant to make us understand how interconnected we are. There is someone on the other side of the planet in a country you’ve never been to that may have similar experiences as you. That sounds amazing and makes us a little less alone. On the flip side, this also suggests that the horrid energies that taint our planet come from the same energy that seeks to make the world a better place. It’s a scary thought because most of time, we condemn people that do harm. But if the theory says we are all “one,” what does that say about humanity? What does that say about meaning of life?

So I try to find some way to rationalize it; we are all one, but those who do horrendous things don’t get reincarnated. Their energy dies with them and that’s that. Maybe that is an option. Or maybe there are no exceptions. I’ve ran in circles with this thought. The conclusion I always come to is that two things can exist at once. Even when you don’t want them to. Because it’s not just about you. The universe craves balance. It is trying to understand everything just as we are trying to understand. In the grand scheme of things, everything is a lesson. And that upsets me. I understand it, but it doesn’t change the fact that there are some painful lessons we have learned in this life. We’re still learning them right now. I think the hardest part of trying to accept this is knowing that its not entirely for you.

Humans love to center themselves, but we are just pawns in a game that something else is playing. It’s not even playing against another, just itself. Because the only way to have a full picture is to see things from all perspectives. The only way to learn what not to do is to understand why is shouldn’t be done so the universe will immerse itself in both sides. All it sees is the greater good for necessity of balance. From where we sit, it seems like we trapped in a hell scape. And we are, I’m not denying that. I just wish people could see what opportunities lie in front of us.

We know (or at least I hope we know) what we actually want our world be like. Even if you have differing opinions from someone else, I feel like we are saying the same things in different terms. Most would say that they want a place to live, food and water (that isn’t contaminated), with the friends or family that they want with them. That ideal can look very specific to some, but that bare minimum is one that we can all agree on. The more people who come to this conclusion, the closer we can move towards a better life. Are there still a slew of problems that we need to fix? Yes. But for some reason, I still hold onto hope that we are reaching a place of rediscovering something. For the longest time, I would get buried under pessimism. Now, for the time being, I’m really excited to be apart of life. Maybe I shouldn’t say this given everything happening around us, but in true prophetic fashion, I’ll say it like this; yes we are in dark times. But this will not last forever. Those dark times will continue if we don’t do something about it, but we’re doing something. Even if it doesn’t always make the headlines. I still believe good things are coming.

-LAMP