Light from a LAMP

Okay, do you ever have thoughts that feel conceited but you’re not thinking in a conceited way, you can just see how it would be interpreted as such?

Lately I’ve been telling myself that I am the creator of my universe and when I look at the greater world around me and the way it is, it feels like I’m playing some kind of part in that.

If I am the creator of my own universe, it feels as though my actions and reactions have some kind of domino effect on the way the universe operates, and I feel like I am watching the chain reactions, in my face, every single day.

[See, I know how this sounds. It’s just easier to grasp the larger external forces when you narrow it down to a personal internal perspective. That’s so human of me to say, but you know…c’est la vie.]

So whenever I get thoughts that there needs to be some kind of disruption in the system and things need to change, I feel like it needs to start with me. I need to disrupt my own system, and I need to change because maybe…just maybe, that will be the catalyst to enter into a whole new dimension.

At the same time, there are these obstacles that are the bits and pieces of the society that has always existed, placing boundaries on what we do and who we are. Everyone gets so afraid to step outside of those boundaries, which I get. We’ve been accustomed to living a certain a certain way our entire lives. It’s very hard to kind of turn around and choose to go a different way. We’ve been conditioned to live in this hell of a system. And I’ve never understood that. Even as a child, I looked at certain aspects of our social system and thought “I don’t get this. This doesn’t make any sense. I don’t believe in this, I don’t believe this is the way things are meant to be.”

[I went to a Christian school, in case you didn’t know, so me actually saying like, “Oh, I don’t believe in this,” like that was, that’s a part of the system, you know? Like, it was a part of the system that I never understood. Religion is a different topic for a different day though.]

Whenever I’ve tried to step away from the norm and explore something different, suddenly I’m the pariah because people don’t get it.

We’re creatures of habit, but has anyone else noticed our habits are so backwards and wrong?

In recent years, I am seeing that there are other people who do think the same. They understand the world that we’re living in is not conducive to our desired reality and they also wanna do something about it. It finally feels like there is an opening to enter into the world that we have always dreamt of. A world where peace may not come easy, but at least we’re all on the same boat to try and find it.

Everything we’ve thought we knew is not the full story and when you point this out, you’re suddenly the man on the side of the road screaming “the end is nigh.”

I am so afraid of missing the window. I’m so afraid of missing this opportunity. Because I know if I don’t jump now, if I don’t dimension hop now, then I’m gonna be stuck here. Life will be stuck like this.

Actually sorry, you don’t actually get stuck anywhere. If we can create our universe, then everything is a choice that we dictate. I guess a better way of phrasing this is to say opportunities for growth continue to present themselves and too often, people choose to stop growing right there.

That’s my biggest fear.

Apparently the number one fear in society is being misunderstood,

I’m not afraid of being misunderstood. I mean, I am, but I think I am more afraid of halting my growth because that means you’ve stopped learning. You stopped experiencing life. You got comfortable where you were at and you just stayed there.

You don’t even care to find out what could come next?

That’s my fear.

I always wanna see what comes next. Honestly, these past few years, everything that’s happened has confirmed everything that I’ve already known. And that’s a trip in itself, but…

For the first time in my life, I’m really excited to live. I’m actually really excited to be alive even though the world is ending. I’m so excited to be alive. But I don’t think anyone has ever truly prepared me for what it means to live.

So now that I want to live, I’m looking around and I don’t wanna live like this. I’m looking around at all the bits and pieces of who I am, and goddamn it, I don’t think this is who I am. I wanna make my world reflect the version of me that I actually am. And I think if I can do that, then the world around me will look the way that it should be. A world where, yes, peace is a hard thing to come by, but at least we’re on the same fucking boat.

That’s what I want. I want a world where you can try and fail, but at least we’re in a world where we try. I wanna be in a world where we do something, where we actually take action and try to make reality the way we know it should be. and that’s gonna be hard as hell, but I’m not giving up. I believe everything will fall into place.

Even though the world feels like it’s ending right now, I do believe everything will fall into place. And if I’m the creator of my universe, then I want to create and never stop creating and find that path to peace.

So that’s my message to you today.

Never stop learning.

Never stop growing.

Don’t be afraid of the unknown.

Because I promise you, there is a path to peace.

We just have to get there.